In The Golden Darkness

Check out my Guest Blog Post!!

2011-09-19T23:38:00.000-07:00

I did a guest blog spot for my best friend as she gets ready to leave for Oregon... So, check it out here! http://yammeringmuse.blogspot.com/

Something amazing!

2011-08-29T01:54:00.000-07:00

   So, you all have met my boyfriend, what I mean by that is, I did a post about him a while back. He is many things, and one of those things is amazing. But even more amazing than my boyfriend, if it is even possible, is the fact that 2 days ago, we celebrated our 7 month anniversary and in the 7 months and 2 days we have been dating, we have never had a fight. Which is amazing. Seeing as I am a hotheaded, Irish girl who takes pride, yes pride, in the fact that I can go from Happy to Righteously Indignant to Raving Mad in 0.6 seconds.

   I haven't given up my anger. I mean, yes, I am getting better at having a good attitude, but am still angry and frustrated at many things. But I think that when God made us, he made us for each other. I really do. He is logical and not prone to wild outbursts, while I am wild and anything but logical... However, where it counts we are the same. We're both quiet, easy going, and creative. We like to think things through, and plan. We like the same kinds of things. We compliment each other, and I am not talking about a kind word, I'm saying we fit, we match, we make sense.

   And I could add the mushy stuff, like how he always surprises me with how crazy he can be. How he can always make me laugh with his brand of funny and witty jokes. How I am always amazed with how handsome he is, and how beautiful he thinks I am. And with how I can just be there in the moment with him, but also how he makes me look forward to the rest of my life.

   However, no matter how much "we got together like ramalamalama", I think the reason that we haven't fought doesn't stem from our mutual mojo. I think it comes from a place of maturity. Willing to accept the other person for who they really are, what they really want, and never trying to change them. We never ask the other one to be something for us. If I am going to be something it should be because I want to, and visa-versa. However, we are also giving of our love and time, without asking of the other, without expecting the other one to give in kind or to pay us back for what we have done, but we do so, because we want to.

   Love without expectations. That is why it makes sense to us, that is why we haven't fought. I am proud of who he is, what he is. I don't try to change that. He feels the same for me, and I feel something extraordinary as a result. Because of the loving relationship we have created, we feel comfortable in that love. We feel able to be who we really are.

   We haven't fought yet, but that doesn't mean we won't. My Irish temper will let him have it at some point, and at some point I will drive him crazy. But for now, what we have is working. And I am very proud of that.

The Heavenly Archway

2011-07-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is the thing I would get married under, if it were at all possible. It is so super cool, and someday, the entrance to my library will have this. <3 LOVE!

No containers. Wonderful or whatever...

2011-07-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

So a new grocery store is implementing a program where no containers or packaging is used. Just like reusable grocery bags, this store will encourage shoppers to bring their own container to house their beans and lentils (or whatever green-conscious people eat). So the store looks like this:

Just bins and bins of loose food. Me? I think it's a bunch of bunk, and a whole lot more trouble than it's worth, but that's just me. These kinds of stores are sweep Europe by storm and in Texas, they have caught the bug. You read right, Texas. The place of big things and lots of guns (yes, I know those are just stereotypes) is getting the first of it's kind green-aware grocery store. I wonder if it will last.

(http://www.good.is/post/zero-packaging-grocery-store-to-open-in-austin-texas/)

Shelf Pod House

2011-07-07T01:15:00.000-07:00

In Osaka, Japan, There is a house made of shelves. In this house, almost every surface is a shelf. The house could, if it wanted to, hold 10 tons of books. 10 freaking tons! My father would die to have this house. He turned my bedroom into a library, but if he had had this house, I would already be used to it. :)

Here is the link, for more information:
http://realestate.yahoo.com/promo/house-of-shelves.html

More shelves! I love and want this house...

Happy Fourth!

2011-07-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

They may like to fool around every once in a while, but what they do is no joke. Thank you, armed forces and you brave men and women, for making it possible for me to celebrate another fourth of july safely at home. Thank you. No kidding.

A letter, by Alan Rickman

2011-07-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

Bare feet. He is awesome.

Well, Alan Rickman, amazing man that he is, just wrote this for Empire magazine. He could have been a writer. It's very good, and there's nothing more that need be said. Read the letter (you have to click it to see it better).

GO!

2011-07-02T11:47:00.000-07:00

Today's inspiration is this: Don't take them at their word that this is what it looks like. Dare to travel to the windswept cliffs of Ireland, the beautiful beaches all over the world. Dare to believe that there is another place that you might like even better than the place you are at right now. Be bold, and be adventurous. Travel!! GO to that place in town you've never been to. GO to that city you've always wanted to check out. Take a flight to a place you've been dying to see. Make it happen. DARE!!

Be happy today!

2011-07-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Marvel in those things man-made.

In those things man-breathed.

In those things only the great and glorious God could have made.

And those things only God could breath.

Be happy today and spread your happiness about!!

Nook, Nook, Where's the Nook?

2011-06-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

In my house, it will all be about nooks. Breakfast nook, library nook, nooks make a place feel cozy and warm. They make everything feel secret and quiet and wonderful. A nook is the perfect place to curl up in on a rainy day. It is my belief, and it's probably a good one, that nooks are the grown up version of the fort. People who loved making forts in their youth, love having little nooks to hide away in on certain days when the world is too much.

It reminds me of when I was a kid. I had a wonderful Dog named Pippin (yes after Lord of the Rings, I was a nerd from the beginning) and he was afraid of lightening and thunder. So the once in a small while where we had a "storm" so big that is frightened both of us, Dad would make a fort and Pippin, Gremlin the Cat, and I would crawl inside and wait out the storm. Because the big wide living room was too much. Forts are the child's solution to a womb like environment (didn't that sound freudian?) and nooks are the adult solution to the fort. Everyone should have a nook!!

I found my lobster!

2011-06-16T23:46:00.000-07:00

It continually amazes me how much I am in love with my boyfriend! I am amazed at the man I have in my life. I know I haven't been chatty about him on here, but he is amazing. And I thought I would share it with all of you! He is always amazing me with the wonderful things that he does. And all I can think of is when Phoebe from friends is jumping and shouting "He's your lobster!" :) SO, here are pictures with him, because I just think he is super cute!!

Isn't he the cutest?

We went to the Cabazon dinosaurs, he was excited.

The man sat through hours of different graduation stuff for me and still had a smile, he's amazing.

So, anyways, there is my love in all his cuteness. There will be more post and pictures to come on the Codyman!

Just a thought... God's miracles...

2011-05-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

At 12 weeks along in a woman's pregnancy, the baby is already practicing breathing by "inhaling" and "exhaling" the amniotic fluid.

I learned something new today that made me wonder at God's wonderful creations and I thought I would share it with you... :)

Class of 2011!!

2011-05-28T20:57:00.001-07:00

That's right!! I am a college graduate!! I graduated college this last Thursday! And because I am finally a graduate, I will be posting once again! So, after this long weekend, expect some posts! Yay!!

I will not.

2011-01-13T18:00:00.000-08:00

I probably will not be blogging again for a long time, if ever. I have become too wrapped up in society's accepted me-me-me culture and I haven't focused enough on shaping the character of me.

I think I've been afraid of what people would think if I showed them the real me and somewhere along the way, I lost that part of me. In secular college you get to a point where you know all the answers that everybody wants to hear, and you are able to spew them out, no matter how much of your own soul you lose in the meantime. I lost a part of my soul. I stopped being happy or spunky even on the inside. My friends stopped liking me.

What glorious friends I have that despite the way I was, they loved me anyways! I owe them everything and I owe you random people nothing, so, I am done with my blog. Unfriend me or whatever, because there will be nothing else written here.

New Year's Resolutions!

2011-01-04T19:54:00.000-08:00

Every year, all the people around me make New Year's Resolutions and every year they fail miserably at keeping those resolutions. So, usually I don't make resolutions, but this year I decided to and here is why:

When I go home for 2 weeks to visit my family and get away from the craziness of school, I usually just sit around, watch movies, hangout with friends, you know, the normal student-on-holiday type of stuff. This year however, while I did do all of those things, I also learned some things about myself that I would like to change.

(1) I learned that maybe I have gotten too forgettable. I don't voice my opinions, I don't stick out, I don't offend people, I just blend in. I am sick of it. No one notices me. I am sick of it.

(2) People get this impression about me that, while I might be nice to hangout with, I am also a stick in the mud. I am not. I have a lot of fun, I just do it without drugs, alcohol, and sex.

(3) I think I have gotten a little too jaded over the years. I am a huge cynic and I let it effect my attitude in everyday life. It gives everyone the impression that I don't care or I don't like them. It's not true. I like most people. I can stand all the ones I don't like, and there are very few I absolutely refuse to be around, so I need to change the way that I come off to people.

(4) I don't know much about the town I live in. So, this year, I will do more adventuring in LA.

(5) I need to star eating a little better and taking vitamins, etc. I'm not going to give up my philosophy of enjoying life and not worrying about it too much, but I am going to be a little more concious of what I eat and how much I eat of it.

So, to recap in much shorter sentences, my New Year's Resolutions are:

1. Speak up.
2. Be more fun, enjoy myself more, stop holding back, LIVE.
3. Think positive.
4. Adventure more.
5. Take care of my body.
6. Be more awesome.

I know I have readers, I know you are out there. What are your resolutions?

BIG changes

2010-12-13T17:33:00.000-08:00

I am no longer an interpreting major. Through a long battle with myself to want this profession, I realized I should really stop pushing myself into something that I am really not going to enjoy. So, I told that to my interpreting teacher and she agreed with me. It was like I was lying to myself so much, that I couldn't see the truth right out in front of me. So, I changed my major. Switching out the interpreting classes for next semester with a graduate counseling course, and I am still graduating on time!!

Please understand: This was in no way a result of problems within the program or with the teachers in the program. The interpreting teacher/trainer/mentor is a wonderful person and is a caring and supportive person. She really helped me by having a frank conversation with me and supporting me in my decision. I really appreciate all that she has done for me.

Which means, I go on to get my Master's degree in counseling. I am not sure where I will be going from here. I really want to go to a Christian college. I am tired of the ridiculous things that go on around this school. I am tired of the students around here. So, a Christian college is my first choice, but I am keeping my options open at the moment. If I go to a Christian college, I will be getting a double masters in Counseling and Seminary- focus on Bible Studies.

So, great new steps toward my adult life. I am happy! Really happy.

Write a Play

2010-12-13T00:33:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody! i am involved with a project where I have a certain amount of goals that I have to complete within 3 1/2 years. Well, during this semester, I wrote three plays, which was one of my goals, more than completing that. So, I can check it off of my list!! Yay!!

I also had that book read at a play reading, and it was great!! Everyone laughed where they were supposed to laugh and it was a great night!! We all had a great time performing in each other's plays and listening to the culmination of a great semester. Afterward, we had cookies and sat around and talked. I loved it!!

So, good challenge to myself and I had a great time completing it!!

Use the thing inside your head!!!

2010-11-15T22:22:00.000-08:00

That's right. I am here to remind you all to use your noggin. Your imagination is a great tool.

Here at college, more and more I find, that children in public school are not taught to use their imagination. Here, the students I encounter are unable to maintain a long attention span, they can't think beyond the normal conventions of society, and they only watch, read, write, and accept what all the students around them watch, read, write, and accept. They like to say they are open-minded, but get them something a little off the wall and they can't understand it, it's too weird, and they don't like it. Now, open your minds and think less conventionally! Think about things people have never thought of before! Go and do!!

Being a Mutt

2010-11-07T23:06:00.000-08:00

I am a mutt. That's what we Americans call someone who's heritage is from so many different places that you have 1/16 of everything. I'm a little bit of this and little bit of that, but the best thing about being a mutt is that you can decide which ones you want to show pride in. So, for all intents and purposes, I am one half Dutch (which I really am) and I am one half Irish (I am a lot less than half) But, for the most part, my personality has embraced the two halves I like to claim. So, I am a cheapskate, a trait I get from my father, and I am a hot-head, a trait which I get from my mother, as little as she likes to admit it. When I write poems, I pretend I am James Joyce or Fenny Sterenborg. When I write stories, I pretend I am Hans Christian Anderson or C.S. Lewis.

But I think the part of me that most often gets repressed now-a-days, is the part of me that dearly loves to fight. Now, I know it's a stereotype, but I don't think there is a truly Irish person out there who will refute me. Now, fighting is a sport. I'm not talking out and out screaming for hours on end, and I am not talking about punching someone out. I am talking about a battle of wits, a war of the minds and the words, and having to be absolutely right the whole entire time. I love fighting the absolutes. Nobody here knows how to play the game though. They think we are actually fighting and that in the end, our relationship has to be different in some way. That's not how these things go. We argue, we debate, we match our wits head to head, and in the end, we link arms and head to the pub. Or the bowling alley, or watch a movie, or whatever. It doesn't have to come down to apologizing for what we said or hugging it out. It just comes down to fighting each other for what you think right, but without going to war and killing each other for it. It gets your steam out, knowing that the other person will love you when it's all over, just like they do now. And I need it. If I fought with anyone around here, they would get the wrong impression about me. That I'm aggressive or just plain mean. That's why I have to marry a hot-head like me. Someone who will fight with me, even if the only reason that we're fighting is because we want to fight. I can't wait!

Family is Important

2010-11-03T01:05:00.000-07:00

My family is crazy. My Father tells the same stories about rockstars and family, and just about anything else, over and over again. He thinks all his jokes are funny. He can make me feel ridiculously embarrassed in no time flat. My Mother thinks she's the boss and she treats us all like her loyal subjects. She never takes care of her health as much as she should, because she likes sugar way too much. She drives me crazy because she never gives me space and she is always nagging. My sister is a clone of my mother I swear. She's just as bossy and naggy as my mother. She drives me up a wall. And my family is opinionated. They all get talking at once and I can barely get a word in edge-wise, so be prepared to have everything to say, but no opportunity to say it. Whoever I marry will have to deal with all three them but on top of all of that, he'll have to deal with me. I have a bad temper, I am stubborn, and I am not always as flexible as I should be. More often than not, I pick a fight, and I somewhat enjoy a good and proper argument. I don’t like change and I don’t like it when I don’t get my own way. I am indecisive and I am quiet. I don't always have the best self-image.

But, after all that, the bad and the worst of my family, they are all I have. My father can make me smile and laugh no matter what mood I am in. I love hearing those same stories over and over because he tells the best stories and his voice calms me. He taught me half of everything I know. He made me who I am. I have a sense of humor, a love for music, a passion for story-telling, a love for words and meaning, great handwriting, a pride in my family, my gentle and quiet nature, and so much more from him. My mother is everything to me. She is where I get my imagination, my drive, my pride in my work, my love for singing, my joy for museums, my desire to travel and go on adventures, my hot temper, and many other things. My sister drives me crazy, but she is my best friend. We fight, but in the end, she is one of the first people I get an opinion from. She makes me laugh like no one else can. She is one of the only people who has all my pride and love, no matter what she does. I know that no matter what I say or do, she will be beside me to support me and help me through life. I am the person I am today because of the three of them.

Our family was kinda lonely. We were alone for most of our life, it was just the four of us. We did everything together. Holidays were just the four of us, vacations were the same. We never went to family reunions or big family trips with bunches of aunts and cousins. It was just us four. But I love my family because no matter how much they bother me, embarrass me, argue with me, boss me, or nag me, I know they are always there for me. Their three opinions are the voices in my head. No matter how long we are together, I miss them the moment I leave. I love them.

it isn't anymore

2010-11-01T03:08:00.000-07:00

There was a moment where is was real again. There was a moment where we all pretended that there was a truth behind out words and a warmth inside our feelings. And for a moment even I could believe it, almost. When you're one of those people who has the ability to be in a situation and look from the outside all at the same time, you have the rare skill to see when someone is putting up lies to keep up appearances. And that's what we were doing. And even though we promised ourselves that life would continue the way it always has, we all knew it was a lie. So we had our last moments of truth mingled with the lies and the bittersweet lined the outside edge. Now we tell ourselves it's all still there and someday when the parts of us that aren't finished growing get done, we'll pick it back up again, and maybe we will, but maybe we won't too.

Isaiah Mustafa

2010-10-23T22:33:00.000-07:00

That's right, the commercials we can't get enough of full of the hottie, hunk we wish our guy smelled like are back and awesome! Here they are!!

And here is the other one, the more well known one that everyone is copying. It's known as the MEME video, but whatever it's called it's awesome.

and then there's this one:

And even one more:

And rumor has it that Isaiah Mustafa, now well known as the man your man could smell like, is going to be in the new Tyler Perry movie, when it comes out. With that heavenly voice, that gorgeous body, and the way he can be hilarious with a straight face, we look forward to more coming from this handsome man.

Scary

2010-10-23T02:36:00.000-07:00

Can I just explain to you how terribly frightening this all is? In a very few months, I will be graduating. I will be out of the protective bubble of college and out on the streets to sink or to swim. And we hope that we will swim and that we will succeed, but we don't know. We don't know if what we are doing now is good enough to pass our classes. We don't know if we are skilled enough to wow our teachers into giving us the good grades. And I don't know if I'm improving. I don't have the skill, I don't have the utter genius of some of my other classmates. And I can't seem to recognize the skills in others. I need help, I need encouragement, but when you are second and third guessing yourself, you won't be encouraged, not matter how much support you get. All I can do is remember that God has sustained me up to this point, and he will continue to sustain me. He is good and I am human. I am not perfect, but I am also not doing my best. I am going to double and triple up my game. I am going to have to work harder than I ever have before and I am going to have to not give in.

The conundrum that is a single lady.

2010-10-21T01:11:00.000-07:00

Crazy as it may seem, I have to admit it. I want a boyfriend. Now, this may seem silly, because of the posts I normally write, but the single lady's mind is filled with conundrums, paradoxes, and confusion. We know what we want, but it's cliche or taboo to admit that we want it, and at the same time, we think it's lame that we want it. I frankly think it is because mass media and society in general think it's really important to brain wash all people into thinking that they have to have the same thoughts as everyone else at the same time, but then hippies and new age people all think they need to make it a sin to have the same thoughts and desires as anyone else. So we want something that is cliche and make people act silly. We want it, and everyone else wants it, but we're young enough to know that we shouldn't want what anyone else wants because that would mean we're trying to fit in with our own crowd, but old enough to want what we want. And all these feelings and all these thoughts and all of these things we're not supposed to think or feel or do are floating around in our brain confusing us and making life a whole lot harder than it really has to be.

So let me admit, once and for all, boldly with no apologies, I want a boyfriend. I want holding hands. I want cuddling. I want the fights and the arguments. I want the forgotten birthdays and the forgotten dates. I want meeting the parents. I want meeting the best friends. I want figuring out the other one isn't perfect and I want loving them anyway. I want discovering things together. I want teaching each other things. I want cozy Saturday afternoons and adventurous Sunday mornings. I want the good and I want the bad, and I want everyone to lay off. I am sick and tired of feeling this want, this desire, this need for someone that I can share myself with, not because I think I need someone else because I won't be complete without him, but because I want it. I want someone who wants me. I want someone who likes my company and thinks I'm pretty. I'm not insecure. I like my body. I like my personality. And I have worked hard to get to this point. In fact, it was really important that I got to this point before I dated someone. I like myself, I like my personality, and I think I have a lot to offer.

So, those of you out there who get offended or concerned when I express my desire, not need, to have a boyfriend, to share and learn and enjoy someone else, to you I say LAY OFF. I want a boyfriend, I don't want world domination or to destroy other countries, I want something completely natural. Just because everyone else wants it to doesn't make it any less valid for me to have that desire.

Thank you.

Help give Language.

2010-10-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

There is a thing called Pepsi. There is also a thing called Clerc's Children. Thing 2, Clerc's Children, is trying to get Thing 1, Pepsi, to sponsor them and give them $50,000. Thing 2 needs your help. Go to the website, http://clercschildren.com/ to find out the awesome things they are doing. NOW, it's kind of unclear, but you can vote 3 times a day. One through each venue. You can text, vote through facebook, and through the Pepsi website. It's really important to do this because Clerc's Children is all about giving language to children who need advocates so badly. ASL is a language, and it is a Deaf child's natural and beautiful language. Please vote with me to continue the great work of this organization. And the best part about voting for this organization is, you don't have to know ASL or even a Deaf person to vote. You can show your support regardless!! Isn't that great?!? So vote with me! To show my support, I wear a green ribbon.

On Friendship

2010-10-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

There are some people who were made to enter your life, not to be your friend, but to be a learning experience.

There are other people who enter your life and they become your friends, but they do not have much to give in return. They are there so that you can give and give selflessly. They can't even try to give the same amount of friendship in return. Those are the friends that we learn from in the way that we learn to be more Christ-like. But those friends can never be our best friends. They can't give in a way that makes them best at anything.

Then there are those friends that give as much as they get. These are the friends that put their own selfish tendencies aside and ignore their own sinful impulses to be Christ-like to you. They are the ones who would get down and wash your feet. They are the ones you let into your inner circle. Because your friendship isn't an ocean. It isn't a place where everyone comes and flows in and out as much as they please, enjoying themselves at your expense. It's a home with a door and a lock. Only those you let in are welcome, and there are those you can refuse to let see rooms in your home. It's your choice. You can decide!

It's freeing when you discover this. That you are not a victim, or someone that people just happen to, oh no. You are the master of your own home of friendship. You are in control. You undo the lock, you open the door, you welcome them in. And as quickly as they enter your home they can leave. They leave because they have to, they leave because they need to, and many times you can't stop them from leaving and you hate to see them go, but there are those friends that you can force to leave as well. There are friends that over stay their welcome, there are friends that encroach on your hospitality, and then you need to make them go. But that is freeing too.

I thank God for the friends in my home, the ones that are there today and the ones who have come and gone. I have loved you and continue to love you.

Followers!!

2010-10-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

I am up to 9 followers and I am feeling pretty special! So on 10-10-10, I just wanted to add a note here to thank you all for your continuing support and love and I hope to post a little more frequently now that I am getting into the swing of this semester. It took me a while, here we are, already at midterms, but I am finally used to this semester. Love you all and expect more posts soon!!

On the Subject of Love

2010-09-05T01:24:00.000-07:00

I love this video. Tiffany Hill is such a great artist with her videos and the way they perform this video together is fabulous. The way they use and change handshapes, they incorporate so much meaning. It makes me strive for more in my own ASL. That is something that I think should be happening more in the ASL community. We who are more skilled in ASL should be inspiring those who are learning, just as we have people that we look up to and strive to be like. We should always remember that there is nothing that is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Looking at the beauty of this video encourages me and I am amazed.

My life lately....

2010-09-04T23:59:00.001-07:00

That's right. Recent events in my life have made it necessary for me to look back at my life and see how I have changed. Someone recently said that I talk too much about my love life. They said I need to stop posting about my not having a boyfriend and grow up. Well, it compelled me to look back.

If I complain about having a boyfriend it is a complete joke. I do not think that a man completes me. I do not think I need a man in my life, well that kind of man, to make me happy, to give me self-esteem, or anything else that girls think of. I am completely happy with my body. I am bodaciously gorgeous. My self-esteem is at an all time high. I am completely happy and content and amazingly grateful for all that God has given me. I can see where his plan was in my life and that is a blessing. I am not skinny, I will never be petit, and won't ever fit in a small, but that's ok for me. I am ok with that.

This person's comments took me completely off gaurd. I looked inward and thought about the self-monitoring system that I have set up. Was I completely oblivious to a lot of sad and woe-begone comments about my wasting away while I wait for a man to tell me what to do and make my life complete? Had I just not seen it in myself? And in the end after a lot of self-evaluation and reality checks, my answer is no. I haven't been to woe-begone, I haven't made too many sighs for a life I don't have. God has a wonderful plan for me. It starts with graduation, which is going to take a lot of hard work to get to. If in the meantime I meet someone, it's something that I will welcome with open arms and a willing heart. But if it doesn't happen in the next year of my life, it doesn't happen. I won't be sitting at home eating buckets of ice cream and crying at movies like Sleepless in Seattle and 27 Dresses. I won't have time for that stuff anyways.

Will it always be easy? Will I always have such a happy-go-lucky philosophy? Will I always be so neutral on the subject? Of course not. Being at school in Northridge, life is all about school, but a lot of social life is the boyfriend/girlfriend relationships everyone has and who's dating who and hanging out with your boyfriend on the weekends and going on dates. There will be times when I wallow in self-pity. There will be times when I sit on the couch and watch girly movies and bask in the glow of a jealous light, there will be times where I make a joke about the fact that I am 24 years old and I have never had a boyfriend or how lame bouquet tosses are, but as a single person, (1) it's my prerogative and (2) it doesn't mean that I am bitter. I rejoice in the relationships that my friends are lucky to have. I am not jealous or bitter because God has bestowed upon them one of the greatest gifts that we may have in life. I rejoice that they have that blessing and I rejoice in the possibility. The possibility of what God has out there for me. Love is a marvel to me and I rejoice in the marvel and the majesty of God's creation of love.

So, that is my rant for tonight. Thanks for listening.

HELLO ALL!!

2010-09-03T17:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am back from the land of overwhelming, confusing summers and problems at home. I sit in my air conditioned dorm room and I write. It is Labor Day Weekend, that's all I gotta worry about.

So, today I thought I would address an issue, very briefly, that a few people have asked me about in the past and I think I would like to address now that I kind of have an answer. This year, I am working on the board of Deaf CSUNians. I am privileged to be able to do this. To give you an idea of what an honor it is for me, of the 15 people that are on the board, I am the only hearing person. It is a great experience and it humbles me tremendously. I am also in the interpreting program, in Interpreting 3. This is very hard work and my skills only improve if I work very hard. Not just for someone like me, who has been signing for 17 years, worked at the school for the Deaf for 5 years, and am now at CSUN, but for anybody that is taking ASL classes and has been in the Deaf community for any amount of time, we are in the middle. We aren't Deaf, but we we aren't like other hearing people either. We are privy to a lot of information that other hearing people don't know and maybe never will. We use our acquired information to be involved in the Deaf community and to educate other hearing people on the Deaf community. We are allies.

But something that comes up a little bit, if not a lot, is the question of would you ever? I have been asked many times, "Would I ever date a Deaf Guy?" And to the question, let me tell you this:

I would date a Deaf guy. Deaf and Hearing doesn't matter to me. I am fluent signer, so that wouldn't be a problem. The only thing that truly matters is our relationship, our connection, and our attraction to each other, not how much music he can listen to. I think that my parents might have a problem with it, simply because they aren't good with languages and they would want whoever I loved to feel comfortable and they know that one way to do that would be to have open communication. But that would be something we would deal with. We would figure out a way for all of us to communicate and to have a great family life. It also depends on who God has planned for me. However, I am not closing my mind to the possibility that out there there might be a great guy for me out there, and he might just be Deaf too. I don't crave a Deaf guy and I don't see it not happening.

So many times, when I talk to girls in Deaf Studies, they have a goal for themselves to date a Deaf guy. Like it means they have finally made it in the Deaf community. That just isn't so. It should be more about your connection than anything else. So yes, I would, but I am not searching desperately for a Deaf guy, I am letting it happen organically. If God gives me that I would be grateful, but if he gives me something else, I am equally blessed.

Purity!

2010-07-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

Please check out this new blog. I was intrigued by its fresh new look, honesty, and committed support of the community it targets. Purity is real folks. As much as the media and celebrities in general want to tell you that it isn't. It is possible to save yourself for marriage, and this website is there to support a decision like that. Good job to the people working hard over there!!

Here is the Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Complicated-Purity/112343095483760?ref=ts

Here is the Blog itself: http://complicatedpurity.blogspot.com/

Go check them out. They are new and I think I am the only follower as of yet, but we can change that right? RIGHT!! Go check them out!

New Look

2010-07-21T00:26:00.000-07:00

I thought it was time for a new look!! Isn't this so summery? It makes me happy!! So please enjoy the new look, and please look out for new blogs (!) coming soon!! SO bye! :)

To the pain.

2010-07-02T00:26:00.000-07:00

AAAAAIIIIIIIII!!! My headaches have been driving me up a freaking wall lately. When the doctors were no help a few years ago, I figured out my own way to deal with my headaches and get better, but lately, I haven't had medicine at the right time and once that opportunity flies out the window, so does my headache free life. It also doesn't help that apparently everything is worse in Riverside. My headaches get 5 times as bad, my acne is 10 times worse, it's a fiasco.

It's hard to describe what one of my headaches feels like to anyone who doesn't get the kind I get, but as an exercise, I thought I would try. Now, imagine that you have a vice squeezing your head at both temples. This vice has been twisted tight enough so that it is causing real pain, but just shy of enough to make you pass out. Then imagine that at the same time, someone is taking pins and needles and sticking them into the back your eyes or the back of your head or the middle of your forehead, it depends on the day. And sometimes it isn't pins and needles. Sometimes it feels like your brain is trying to commit suicide or bash its way through your skull to obtain freedom. And on very rare occasions, you get all three. Now, bare in mind that this happens all the time, almost everyday, and remember that I have a high tolerance for pain. Since lately I haven't gotten to the medicine in time, I go through whole days where I have to pretend like everything is alright and just deal with it. It isn't pleasant, but I deal with it.

Well, I am going to bed, because the vice is starting to squeeze again, and I have to close my eyes.

I have been changed......for good??

2010-06-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

It’s hard to date. For those who don’t remember, or aren’t into dating, it really is. You might think, “What is so hard about it? You go to dinner, you see a movie, you talk, you laugh, and you go home.” But there is so much more to it than that. It’s meeting a guy. It’s analyzing whether he’s worth the time or not. It’s weighing the pros and cons. It’s worrying whether he likes you or not. It’s wondering whether he will hold your hand or if he expects you to make the first move. Does he like girls who just go for it, or does he like girls who let the guy decide? It’s deciding where to go. It’s making up your mind whether you like him or not. It’s talking to your girlfriends about what he said and what that might mean. It’s analyzing his actions, the moves he made and didn’t make, to make sure he likes you, so that if you do make a move, between awkwardness and acceptance, the odds are in your favor. It’s deciding to go ahead with things. It’s taking it to a new level. It’s letting someone into the comfortable little world that you have made for yourself. It’s worrying whether letting them in was a mistake. And, when it all comes down to it, it can go two ways at this point. One, it can go the way of bliss. You let him in, he lets you in, and you become close. You agree on most things and can agree to disagree on the rest. He asks you to marry him. You plan the wedding. The day comes, you say the “I dos” and you dance the night away. And you live happily ever after as long as you both shall live. OR it can go the other way. You let him in, he lets you in, and it is bliss, for a while. Then it goes sour. Something he said made you unhappy, he can’t agree with something you believe in, and there it all went. So, you try to make it work for a little while, because you thought you would change your mind, or you thought he would change his, but in the end, you go your separate ways. For a while, you tell yourself you are better off alone or that you are rediscovering who you are, but really you are just getting over him or her. Then comes the time, where you decide to get back in “the game”. You decide that it’s time to find somebody new, and you begin the whole cycle all over again. And for me it’s tiring. For me, who doesn’t open up or share the inner most details of her life with just anyone, it’s exhausting even. I am a quiet person, so for me, sharing the inner most details of my life with a array of pleasant and charming, but strange men is not my ideal of a fun Friday night. So why do I do it? Why do I expose my emotions to the elements? There is this sign in ASL that looks like you are pantomiming opening the front of a jacket. It means exposing yourself. Opening your heart and sharing all. And I am learning to do it. Why? I have no clue. I mean, I have been on very few dates, three, to be exact, with two different men. But that means there are two men, walking around out there, knowing my favorite color, favorite food, the fact that I sleep with a teddy bear, and more than that, they know my fears and my insecurities. They didn’t work out, so now, I go out and find somebody new. I cross my fingers and pray and hope. I tell someone new all the things about me that make me, well me. I hope that I am enough for him and he is enough for me, but if it isn’t right, I pick up the pieces and I start again. It isn’t all bad. I get a free meal, I get to see good and not so good movies, and the company is both flattering and entertaining, but I sometimes wish I could skip the whole middle part. I wish that God would just take a big, neon arrow and point out who I am supposed to be with. Wouldn’t that be just so much easier? Wouldn’t that make my time less wasted on the wrong guys and more invested in Mr. Right? Well, that would be true, but as cliché as it may sound, out of the very few dates I have had, I have learned something from each of them. And I communicate better and move slower in relationships because of it. I learned communication and the value of moving slowly and taking my time with a prospective boyfriend, and for that, I wouldn’t trade all the neon arrows in the world, because as odd as it may sound, or as many times as you have heard it before, all the wrong guys are making me better for Mr. Right.

My views on a wedding:

2010-06-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

· A wedding is a celebration with your friends and family as you embark on a new phase of your life. It is the celebration of a lifelong commitment to another person. A person who makes you happy and who you can make happy. It is a joyous occasion. So, whether that joyous occasion is a simple city courthouse ceremony and dinner afterward or a huge, expensive full weekend itinerary, it should mean something special to the two people involved. Now, I am a lover of Off-BeatBride.com and all the joyousness that goes on there, because it encourages, not expensive veils and flowers and dress, not the me, me, me attitude that some wedding websites and magazines do, but the focus on the individuality of every couple and how that should be celebrated. How whether done on a tight budget or all expenses paid, you can have a gorgeous, meaningful wedding. My wedding is not going to look like my sisters’ weddings. We all are different and celebrate in different ways. So, why shouldn’t our weddings be different too? Why do we look at the magazines filled with dresses that cost more that my education and cookie-cutter type suggestions on what every bride should do? Why not look at other weddings for inspiration, but yet, only glean what we need and, therefore, create a mish-mosh of inspiration that turns out to be just what we need. I love weddings when they are done right. When you see a couple that didn’t let the wedding monster eat them alive and they came out the other end as happy as when they entered. A couple who, when you go to their wedding, you feel like you are entering their world, and you tread lightly, because the beauty of the couple is so beautiful. You feel honored that they invited you, that they felt you were and should be part of their joy on such a happy day. That is how you should feel at a wedding. The guest shouldn't feel like an audience, they shouldn't feel like they can't see the groom in any detail or aspect of the wedding, they should feel happy to be part of such a celebration. Because it is a time to celebrate! The couple has found the one their soul loves and that is no small achievement! Celebrate in your own way! Make it you, and make it fun!

Old Writings...

2010-06-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

Here is something I wrote about 6 months ago, the beginning of Spring semester where I felt really lonely, I feel quite the opposite now, but I thought it was pretty or good writing, or something, so I thought I would put it up here:

"He’s here. I don’t want him to be here, but he is here. So why is he here? I think I wanted so badly for someone to be here that I let him inch his way, worm his way into a place in my life where only the most worthy should go. Someone asked me if I was lonely. Yes I am. Very lonely and don’t expect anybody to understand. So lonely that I cry at the end of romantic comedies because I don’t get to have what characters in movies get. I am so lonely that I rewind kissing scenes and watch them over and over. I am so lonely that my dreams are filled with weddings and dating and kissing faceless men. I am lonely, very lonely. But my loneliness is something I will have to deal with. I can’t let that make me jump into the arms of the first semi-normal guy that comes around.

I came to the conclusion the other day that I am ready for a relationship when it happens. I am no longer that silly little girl that expects only the best out of the other person and our relationship together. I don’t just want the good parts; I am ready for the bad parts as well. I am ready for holding hands and being deliriously happy and falling in love and planning our futures together and thinking about him every moment and snuggling on the couch and kissing in the rain, but I am also ready for fighting over the important and the insignificant things and finding out he isn’t perfect and pretending you’re asleep when the baby cries in the middle of the night and dirty jobs and bills and wishing today would go away and babysitters and band-aides and growing children and growing expenses and growing old together. I want it all and I want it now. I want hands that fit with mine. I want arms that will wrap around me and make me feel safe. I want…. not him. This is the realization that a mistake can give you and a wonderful one it is too. I am happy that he came for now I know what I want, but I am sad he is here because he isn’t what I want."

The second paragraph is how I do feel now. Second semester of college this year, I was finally out of a horrible living situation and I was very pleased with my roommates. I got to know a lot of people a lot more and I miss college now. I didn't ever miss it before this last semester though, which is odd, because second semester was just as catastrophe filled as first semester. I didn't get RA, I didn't get DSA President, I moved 5 times during the semester (virtually by myself) and I didn't get the best grades in the world, but I miss school and everyone there because there was a bond made over all of that. I can't wait to go back!!

The Late, The Great, John Wooden

2010-06-05T02:03:00.000-07:00

John Wooden, wonderful Coach and amazing man, died last night. He was an inspiration to more than just the teams he coached, he inspired us all and he leaves behind his words.

John Wooden said, "There are many things that are essential to arriving at true peace of mind, and one of the most important is faith, which cannot be acquired without prayer."

John Wooden said, "Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful."

John Wooden said, "Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters."

John Wooden said, "Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts."

At 99 years old, John Wooden passed away. He isn't here anymore, but he and his inspirational words will not be forgotten soon.

The nature of me.... (PART 1)

2010-06-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have felt hostility and negativity from many different directions. I haven't done anything differently, but lately people have been attacking me for being me. So, since people can't seem to be nice, I would like to say a few things.

Where I surround myself with people who are outspoken, opinionated, and bold, I am quiet, reserved, and timid. I have strong qualities, but they are not easily seen, you have to look deep within me and you have to take care and get to know me. Once you do that, you will see that where there is a quality, it is not diluted. You will find that any characteristic or trait that I might have is in a pure form. I am made up of kindness, passion, understanding, loyalty, forgiveness, devotion, creativity, compassion, hope, strong and abiding love, I love to take care of people and I love to listen. I love a good adventure and I can make anything into one. An adventure can be a plane ride, a road trip, or a drive across town. I am a paradox, on the one hand I am planning, organized, and methodical, while on the other I am spontaneous, messy, and all over the place. I have bad traits too. I have a short temper, I don't like change, and I can be quite messy at times, I am not bold in everyday life and so it makes people angry, I don't speak my opinion very often and so people feel like they can walk over top of me, but while I am learning to keep an even temper, have a flexible attitude, and I am much cleaner than before, I am afraid that my timidity of spirit and my quietness will always be a problem for some people.

When people look at my mother, my father, and my sister, they know exactly what they are getting. My mother is strong and bold, my father is friendly and jovial, and my sister is cute, outspoken, bold, beautiful, friendly, must I go on? People know who they are, but me? Well, most people don't know anything about me, even more people think they know me and they try to relate to me, but they all have an idea of who they want me to be and so they relate to that person. I am happy to accommodate them, but so many times their expectations of who I am are disappointed in the end, when I am just being myself.

Here are some things that will always be true of me: I will continue to hope for love until I get it or until I die. I will always need someone to take care of, to bake cookies for and show my support to, no matter where I am, if I don't have someone like that, I will find someone. I will always be quiet and reserved and it will always take just a little more effort to get to know me, but if you show that you are willing, I will never disappoint you. I will always be there for you, to listen and cry with you, to support you, to go off on crazy adventures with you and to laugh with you. I will always have at least half a dozen schemes, dreams, and ideas in my head. If you see me, I am thinking about at least one thing, I am always thinking. If you see me, I most likely have a headache, I suffer from chronic headaches and get a migraine almost everyday. There are so many other things that are me, but you have to get to know me to find them out. :)

I have loved you for several hours now, and every second more....

2010-05-26T23:16:00.000-07:00

There is a screenwriter named William Goldman. He wrote such fabulous screenplays as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Chaplin, and Princess Bride. The last is what I am speaking about tonight. He, in fact, did not just write the screenplay for Princess Bride, but also wrote the book The Princess Bride. If you have not read the book, it is the next thing you should do. It adds so much weight to a love of the movie and I adore the story ten times more after reading the book. It isn't that the book is so much different than the movie or that the book is better, they go hand in hand. He, in fact, began by writing the book, and then turned it into a screenplay. So, why do I speak about this? To prelude a tidbit from the book, which is one favorite quotes from any book. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the book is on my top ten list, right below all the Jane Austen novels. It is just that good. Now, the quote:

"I love you,' Buttercup said. 'I know this must come as something of a surprise to you, since all I've ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more. I thought an hour ago that I loved you more than any woman has ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew that what I felt before was nothing compared to what I felt then. But ten minutes after that, I understood that my previous love was a puddle compared to the high seas before a storm. Your eyes are like that, did you know? Well they are. How many minutes ago was I? Twenty? Had I brought my feelings up to then? It doesn't matter.' Buttercup still could not look at him. The sun was rising behind her now; she could feel the heat on her back, and it gave her courage. 'I love you so much more now than twenty minutes ago that there cannot be comparison. I love you so much more now then when you opened your hovel door, there cannot be comparison. There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for you or sing for you, or if you are hungry, let me bring you food, or if you have thirst and nothing will quench it but Arabian wine, I will go to Araby, even though it is across the world, and bring a bottle back for your lunch. Anything there is that I can do for you, I will do for you; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do. I know I cannot compete with the Countess in skills or wisdom or appeal, and I saw the way she looked at you. And I saw the way you looked at her. But remember, please, that she is old and has other interests, while I am seventeen and for me there is only you. Dearest Westley--I've never called you that before, have I?--Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley,--darling Westley, adored Westley, sweet perfect Westley, whisper that I have a chance to win your love.' And with that, she dared the bravest thing she'd ever done; she looked right into his eyes."

— William Goldman [S.M. Morganstern] (The Princess Bride)

My Darling Readers

2010-05-22T01:36:00.000-07:00

What is life if we do not seize it? What is life if we do not seek out all hope, all love, and all the possibilities that life and that God has to offer us?

So, I seek adventure around every corner and search for a love that is true. I don't think that makes me any more ridiculous than others. I live with hope. Hope that there is a love for me out there. Hope that God is keeping a partner in mind for me and is training him to be that imperfect someone who is perfect for me.

So, my darling readers, keep hope in your heart. Keep searching for all the possibilities, all the adventures. They're out there. You have to go out and search for them. You have to be courageous, you have be daring, and only then with these tools: hope, passion, courage, strength, boldness, and daring, with these shall you triumph. And you will triumph, over all. Over worries, over fears, and that's another thing, dear readers. Do not fool yourself into thinking that because something is familiar that it is the best. It may just be familiar. Don't let fear of the unknown or the odd let you shy away from the adventure. That is what should make us head on, with more determination, toward the challenges before us. They are challenges, but challenges were made to be conquered.

Go out! Live boldly! Seize all opportunities!! Don't embrace the mundane, the simple, the well known, embrace the odd, the new, and the strange!! Be an adventure and define adventure for yourself.

My promise is long gone....

2010-05-17T01:08:00.000-07:00

YES, dear readers, I did make a vow that I would write a blog post for everyday for a year, and for a while I was inspired and creative enough to keep it up. I lasted a long time and I featured some pretty interesting things, but after a while, it became monotonous. I was simply posting to post, I wasn't inspired anymore, so I stopped caring. Then I stopped posting all together because 1) I didn't care and B) I got too busy. SO, now a lot has happened since I last posted anything.

I came close to romance and bid it adieu, I lost the DSA elections, I worked on a show, I had two theatre performances, I had a birthday and turned a spinstery 24 years old, and I finished another school year.

Today was my first day of summer and so far, it looks to be promising. I am looking forward to summer and I am looking forward to posting again. I think I will have more inspiration now that I don't have 8 papers, performances, posts, videos, finals, etc looming over my head and haunting my dreams.

This summer shall be called the summer of inspiration and friends. I shall hang with my friends a lot and I shall create a lot. I am excited at the prospects of this summer!! Bring it on!!

DSA Board Elections: Community Involvement and Support

2010-04-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

DSA Elections are here!!!

For a year now, I have been thinking and planning for these elections. Why? Because I want to be DSA President and that is a big undertaking! It's a big responsibility yes, but I have some great ideas for next year, and I think I am up for the job. DSA is a very important organization to me. They provide such a great haven of community, fellowship, and wonderful opportunities to their members.

What is my vision?:

Just as we are to be allies and friends to the deaf community, we should also be a community ourselves. We need to support and encourage one another as we travel on the path of education. What does that mean? Events where we can get to know each other on a deeper level, support our community and the Deaf community, and continue to raise awareness of groups and causes connected with us.

Involvement is another big part of my vision for next year. I want all those who want to be involved from from large scale to small scale to be able to take part in DSA events, fundraising, and other opportunities.

Why I would make a great DSA President:

I will start with High School:

I was Student Body President my Senior year and I was Valedictorian of my High School. These positions taught me how to be responsible, how to delegate, how to run efficient meetings, and how to create unity and morale not only with my board, but with the student body as a whole. I worked with school staff and was an effective ambassador to the teachers and students alike.
I was part of a Peer Leadership and Counseling team for 3 years in High School. That experience taught me how to facilitate growth within the student body, how to listen to and counsel my peers, and how to create events and opportunities for the student body based on our group and their needs. I learned how to create effective and efficient communication between leaders and their student body as well.

When I got to college:

Every summer I have been a counselor of High School students for a summer camp. I have learned great leadership tools like effective listening and communication, creating cohesion, sociability, and solidarity within the group, having a positive and flexible attitude, handling my priorities, and keeping my word.
For many years, I have been involved with theatre. For over 10 shows in different theaters, I have been the Head Make-up Designer. I have worked some Summer Conservatories, which means I was designing and running 3 shows and 3 makeup crews all at the same time. The responsibility of that job taught me how to run a crew or group effectively with understanding, positive attitude, and excitement, how to multi-task, the importance of relying on your team and supporting the group as a whole, time management, and seeing the overall big picture and keeping the end result a vision in my head.
This school year, I was a Board at Large for the DSA. I have been involved and experienced both Board and general meetings, and I have learned a lot about how meetings for the DSA are run. I have been helping the board with their vision of this year by working hard for them and I have seen the behind the scenes workings of the DSA. It is such an important group and I am so passionate about next year and all possibilities that the year can hold.

Some ideas that I have for next year:

At the beginning of the year, I want to have a Starting of the Year Gala. This would be an opportunity for Freshman, Transfer Students, and continuing Deaf Studies majors alike to get together and learn about the new school year. New students will be able to meet the organizations and clubs on campus that are connected with the major and to meet staff of Deaf Studies and NCOD as well. It will a great time to get together, meet new people, and see old friends as well.
Amber and I both feel that one important part of DSA next year should be not only involvement within the school, but more of a community awareness and therefore more connection with service opportunities in our community. We want to make available to our Association, a different community service opportunity each month or every other month.
We want to connect people together. We would like to have more social opportunities for the DSA, such as more Sports Days, Team Competitions like that at Silent Weekend, Movie Nights, etc. Where people can socialize and get to know each other on a deeper level.
There are many other things that we want bring to you, too many to write here, but I do hope that you vote for us.

My vision of community involvement and support for next year can be summarized in a quote:

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

A Rant of Sorts

2010-04-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

Ok. Can I say something? Can I just put it out there and hope that someone, one small person out there, out there in the cosmic universe reads this and understands it, understands completely and fully and because they understand it so deeply, they don't feel the need to comment about it or talk about it or tell me how I am wrong or tell me what I am feeling isn't what I should be feeling, they just have to feel it in their bones and coursing through their veins and sleep in the very small quietness of what I am about to say?

So many times I am told that how I am feeling is wrong. It isn't wrong, it's different. Different than maybe what you want me to feel or different than how you are feeling, but not wrong. My needs are different, my life is different, so what I need, what I want, what I am passionate about, and what I hate are different. I am not a stupid person, I am not an idiot, and I have always been level-headed and certainly independent enough to make my own decisions and lead my own way. I haven't been reckless or foolish in my decisions and I am actively following the path that I feel God determined for my life. I have done stupid things in my past, things that changed my way a bit, but they were never ridiculous, they never hurt my health, and they never endangered other people. They were harmless mistakes and I grew from them. God has put me into some situations in my life that I questioned at the time, but I trusted him and now I see how those things lead to a change within me. God truly has made me the person I am today.

I am proud of that person. I am a strong, soft-spoken, well grounded woman with intelligence, beauty, and many other amiable qualities. I am nerdy and awkward and weird, yes, but I like that about me too. It took a lot of trust to become the person I am today. I had to trust that the way God was shaping me and shoving me and poking me and prodding me would make me a better person, not a bitter person. But trust is a continuous lesson I am learning. My faith is not blind, so when I trust God, it is also not blind and it is a thing I surrender with an open heart and reluctant grasp. My heart is always willing to give my control up to God, but my mind is always holding back. Yet, as I say this, my gaze is always on God and my stride is always towards him.

Now onto the subject at hand: I transferred schools a year and a half ago. I haven't really liked a guy while I was here. I am always looking, because I'm almost 24 years old and I have never had a boyfriend and that's weird by anybody's standards, but dated? Not really. Add this on top of the fact that I AM 24 YEARS OLD. So, when I say I want something or when I say I am yearning for something I think I am completely and totally founded in expressing that desire. I want a man who loves me, is attracted to me, who loves God and puts him first, who respects and trusts me for who I am and who I can respect and trust, and who makes me laugh and can hold my attention for more than 7 minutes. I want all of this. I don't want to play games and I don't want to put labels on anything. Someone once said that I aim too high when I try to find someone, the guys that I end up liking are way out of my league. I don't know what my league is, but I am pretty sure that the things that I want in a guy separate him from any league he would be shoved into. I am far from perfect. But I am perfect for that imperfect someone who is perfect for me. So don't tell me that what I am searching for is wrong, and don't tell me what I am feeling is unfounded, that's part of me and for me, it's completely right.

Sorry Guys!!

2010-03-31T09:43:00.000-07:00

I am on my Spring Break right now and while I would love to spend the better half of my time working on this wonderful and random and nerdy blog, I got better things in the making for this week at least. My school requires furlough days and GOD BE PRAISED they all decided their furlough days would coincide on the week before my Spring Break. Plus today, Wednesday, is Ceasar Chavez day, a day CSUN celebrates instead of President's Day. All I care about is that all these events together made my Spring Break and extra week longer!!!! SO, I have been hanging out with new and old friends I have made here at school and on Saturday, I GET TO GO HOME!!! FOR A WHOLE WEEK!!! It's so exciting I had to use all caps. So, if you get a post in the next week and a half, consider yourself lucky. I don't think I will even be doing the good-looking-man-of-the-week. So sad. Find your own. HAHAHA just joking, but seriously, see you in 2 weeks!!

Because it's Video Week....

2010-03-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

There are those out there who think it is cute to have a rehearsed dance on their wedding day. Now, there are horrible ones:

There are good ones, that kinda make sense and are fun for everyone involved:

And then there are those rehearsed wedding dances that leave the rest behind and inspire other brides to greatness....

I also had to, had to, had to add this video simply because it is so sweet.

This is the song called "Once In Love with Amy." The bride's name? Amy.

The bride's profession? Musical Theatre Actress. This is all her friends and family

giving her one big toast. It's very cute.

Shia LaBeouf

2010-03-27T12:18:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I find Shia LaBeouf is a good looking guy. As he gets older, he is actually getting quite handsome. So here is to the good-looking-man-of-the-week!! You handsome devil you!

50 People. One Cool Video.

2010-03-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Fifty People, One Question: London from Fifty People, One Question on Vimeo.

I feel like this is the week of random videos....

2010-03-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Daddy - Free videos are just a click away

Now that is acting....

2010-03-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

Patrick Stewart is a Dirty Old Man

2010-03-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Toothpaste as Art!!

2010-03-22T00:00:00.001-07:00

Toothpaste Art on Passed Out People - Watch more Funny Videos

Hugh Jackman

2010-03-20T01:33:00.000-07:00

Here is to men looking like men!! And here is to our Good-Looking-Man-Of-The-Week!!! Enjoy ladies!!

Trash Bag Monsters!!!

2010-03-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

Wow. Just...... wow.

2010-03-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

These are not photos. They may look like black and white photos, but they are not. This girl is just simply talented. Now, I found this when I was stumbling and I lost the source. If anyone knows the artist, please give me the link so I can give credit where credit is due.

Awesome Catch By a Girl

2010-03-17T01:17:00.000-07:00

I am so into baseball season and I think that this is awesome!! A girl!! At a major league baseball game!!

Awesome Couch!!

2010-03-16T01:16:00.000-07:00

As randomness is my forte, I give you awesome couch!!

Wedding Season is Upon Us!!!!

2010-03-15T02:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right folks, the conventional wedding season is upon us and we will all now be airing out our floral print clothes and our pastel heels so we can all look spiffy for the invitations that we have accepted. And while many brides think their wedding is going to be the talk of the town, the one that no one will forget, they are probably wrong. Unless you happen to be one of those brides who thinks outside the box, I'm talking way outside, I'm talking packing peanuts are no where in sight outside the box. If you are that kind of bride, there is a website just for you! It is called Offbeat Bride and it has everything from wedding porn to great ideas and stories from actual offbeat brides! So enjoy and here is a link to the website below!!!

GO HERE!!!!

Luke Wilson

2010-03-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

Luke Wilson has been doing a lot of commercials lately. Does this mean that he will not be returning to film? I certainly hope not!! I fell in love with Luke Wilson in Hope Floats. He plays an Army Reservist (I love a man in uniform) that falls in love with Drew Barrymore's messed up character. But he has been great in many other films as well: 3:10 to Yuma, The Family Stone, and Legally Blonde (lol). So, let's give it up for the Good-Looking-Man-Of-The-Week!!!!!

Double Posts Today, Both Manly

2010-03-13T02:05:00.001-08:00

Getting Ready.....

2010-03-12T23:22:00.000-08:00

Are you ready??? St. Patty's Day is on Wednesday!!! Please don't treat it lightly!!!

A Bonus Post- Don't you feel lucky?

2010-03-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

Alright, simply because she posted on my blog and I flipped out when I saw the comment that needed to be moderated, I am posting a link to one of my favorite blogs as a bonus for today. And it truly is a bonus, because her blog is a gem!! a jewel!! I love it. So, go over there right now and subscribe to the wonderful goodness of the CONTENTED ME blog. Thanks so much Kristen!!

Sweet Pea, oh Amos Lee!!

2010-03-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

My New Hairstyle??? Maybe!!!

2010-03-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

This one is my favorite and I really love it and want to do it. I want a faux hawk, I want awesome hair that is truly me. And I think this is it!!!

Am I Sad Or Not Sad??

2010-03-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

There is a lot that I can complain about right now:

* I don't have a car.

* I don't have a boyfriend.

* I am in limbo with the housing situation right now. The water damage to our apartment was so severe that we will be out of our room for at least another month and I am out of a home and I could be moving two more times before the semester ends.

*Because of what happened with our room, I have had to keep everyone calm and keep everyone sane. I have had to make sure that everyone has housing and I have essentially had to be mother hen of sorts. I had to get them out when the alarm rang, I had to keep them calm, I had to make sure they had everything when we went back inside, I had to keep everyone's moral up, I had to get everyone together, I had to do all of that without freaking out or crying or getting awfully angry or hysterical.

* Also because of said housing situation, I have no privacy right now because I am sharing an emergency housing studio apartment with two of my roommates from the old apartment.

* The new building we are living in currently is no better as there have been 3 fire alarms that have gone off in the past 3 days.

*My roommates are wonderful people, but the constant requirement to be around them when I am home, with no way to get away or get off on my own, is a little frustrating and a little annoying. They require my attention 75% of the time, which I am not always willing to give them, but I am trying to be the leader in good attitudes and cohesiveness while all this happens.

* I don't have a true business job, which really irks my mom. I am tutoring and earning $100 a month, but she wants me to find a real job, which irks me because all I want to do is make her and Dad proud, but I can't seem to do that.

* I am applying for RA, but the one place that made me apply, the housing office is not considering me for anymore. Which means, if I am an RA, it won't be with Lighthouse (deaf dorm) next year.

* I am feeling bored and tired of the same routine every week. I want something new, I want something fresh. I want to pierce my nose, I want to dye my hair, I want a fresh new haircut.

BUT, with all the things I am legitimately able to complain about right now, there are many things that make my life great as well:

* My Family: They are always so supportive and ready to help me and love me always, no matter what.

* My friends: here and in Riverside, my friends are one of the most awesome things in my life right now and I don't know what I would do without them. The CSUN friends I have are such loving and wonderful people and so ready help and support me. I love them!!

* That I have a place to live and food to eat and so many comforts that I take for granted, but I have them, so I shouldn't complain.

Ugly Girl- Fleming & John

2010-03-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

This is such a fun song!! Enjoy!

A Year of Celebration

2010-03-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

I didn't have any ridiculous wedding stories or extravagant prices for you to marvel at, I just have a wedding day philosophy. This is from a blog that I love to read called "2000 Dollar Budget Wedding" Here is what she says:

"I really believe that weddings would be a little less stressful if we would commit to hosting a lifetime of parties rather than attempting to a host a single, "Once-in-a-Lifetime" event."

I agree with her. The wedding is a most special day, yes, but to make it into the end all and be all of your life is a little ridiculous. Make it one day of celebration, rapture, and elation in a lifetime of the same. Make it joyous and celebratory, but don't resign the rest of your life to something that is less than that!!! Your life is so short, why not make it as great as it can be?

Oh an this couple, you may be wondering why they call their blog "2000 Dollar Budget Wedding"? Because of this:

Thank You Postcards + Stamps = -$31
Balloons to Mark Ceremony Street: -$4
Money Remaining from Lodging: +$110
Margarita Machine: -$232
Whole Foods: -$317
King Soopers's (Food): -$372
Sam's Club (Food): -$403
Boxed Wine: -$80
Beer Kegs: -$140
Clips for Nametags: -$24
Photography (extra flickr storage): -$25
Wedding License: -$10
Cakes: -$178
Wooden Sticks for Ceremony Program Fans: -$19
Wedding Quilt for Ceremony: -$8
Wedding Favors: -$21
DJ (iPod): $0
Photographers (friends): $0
Bride's Hair (friend): $0
Bride's Necklace and Shoes (reused): $0
Groom's Tie (made from old fabric): $0
Sash for Dress (made from old fabric): $0
Fabric for Cloth Napkins: -$50
Tablecloths: -$33
Stamps to Mail Instructional Dance DVDs to Our Wedding Party: -$6
Compostable Forks, Spoons, Bowls, and Cups: -$64
Stamps (Invitations): -$20
Water Color Paper (Invitations): -$6
Embroidery Thread: -$2
Wedding Dress (+Shipping/Handling): -$20
Domain Name for Website: -$7
Wedding Books from Library: 0
Total Spent: $1,962
Total Remaining: $38

TThat was their budget!! I am in awe. If you are curious, they teach you how to do it on their blog, and give you ideas on how to make your own wedding cheap without looking like it.

Charlie Cox

2010-03-06T09:44:00.000-08:00

So, he's the guy from Stardust. He's the guy from Casanova. He is freaking good looking and that is why he is our Good-Looking Man of the Week!!!

My Talents.

2010-03-01T15:09:00.000-08:00

There are many things I can do very well. Today I will list them:

Makeup

Painting

Ceramics

Sailing

History

American Sign Language

Singing

Theatre

The Psychology of Humans

Carpe DO IT!!!

2010-02-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

There is not much I can say today, it is a lazy day of sitting at home, which really and truly is wonderful!!! Keep love in your hearts and stay close to those you love and be happy. We only have one life, why should we go around complaining? If something isn't how you think it should be, make it so!!!! Seize the day and make it better not only for yourself, but for those around you!!!

Josh Lucas

2010-02-27T01:19:00.000-08:00

Josh Lucas: if you don't know who he was, he was in Sweet Home Alabama with Reese Witherspoon and he was in Secondhand Lions, which is one of my favorite movies. So, with very little explanation, because it isn't necessary I mean, look at him. Let's give it up for the good-looking man of the week!!!

2010-02-26T01:07:00.000-08:00

God Says:

God says:

But still I say this:

I know it is ridiculous and silly. Please, anyone reading this, please don't say "wait for the man who will come along" or "you don't need a man" or "when you stop looking for a man then he will show up" I know every argument. I know every encouragement. It doesn't matter. Just let me want what I want. I am not going to act stupidly or rush into anything. I am going to take whatever comes my way slowly and maturely, but for now, let me want kissing and cuddling and holding hands and touching and anticipation and love.

You. You. You.

2010-02-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

Friendship to Love

2010-02-24T22:03:00.000-08:00

The Week of Love a Theme I Can't Live Up To.....

2010-02-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

Seize her in your arms and kiss her like you will die without her

2010-02-22T20:51:00.000-08:00

Warning: There is bad language in this picture. But, I do love the philosophy attached to this pic. But, if you don't like language, then this post is not for you.

Wacky English Wedding

2010-02-21T00:00:00.000-08:00

With all the charming things that Europe has to offer, this was not one of them. First off, the bride was 16 years old and the groom was 17. The bride has not been to school since she was 9 years old. Her father and mother, who payed for the whole event, live in a trailer park. He works as a roof paver. The Wedding in all cost in American dollars $250,000. The dress alone was $30,000 and the bouquet was $1000. Her dress was covered in gems and swarovski crystals and it took 10 people to help her out of the car. She could barely stand up for the whole service. What a ridiculous waste of money!!! Have a happy and ridiculous weekend!!!

T.R. Knight

2010-02-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

I fell in love with his character in Grey's Anatomy. George was sweet and quiet. I just always loved him as long as I watched the show. I am now discovering it got really good after I stopped watching and I am planning on renting the seasons. I rode on an airplane with him one time and I also saw him in Parade and he was FABulous. I mean really, really, a millions times really good. So, here is to a multi-talented, sexy, fabulous good-looking man-of-the-week!!!!

Crazy Houses!!! Enjoy!!!

2010-02-19T11:39:00.000-08:00

And You Thought Star Wars Wasn't Real!!!

This is a historical place now. It has been restored to its former glory as a bottle village and you can go visit. If that is something you are interested in (so am I!), click the picture below!!!

This guy made this as a get away home for couples. He will make them for you as well.

Here is the inside. So cool. It has a bed, a sitting area, and small kitchen area.

This is a castle that was built by a man who lived with his mother. He built the castle and it became so popular in the 1940's and 50's that famous people like Dwight D. Eisenhower and Bing Crosby visited for the posh parties that his mother would throw. So, the guy built another wing to the castle so he could get away from his mother.

A treehouse that trumps pretty much all other treehouses....

A 22 year old guy made this one. He couldn't afford his own home, so he made one on some of his parent's land. Out of mud. He also grows his own garden. This is a little too "earthy" for my tastes, but I do think it looks cool too....

There is a broom in the corner. Something tells me with this home, you are always sweeping....

The inside it also covered with dog stuff. This is a gay couples' home and they breed beagles.

My First CLM for Interpreting 2

2010-02-17T14:46:00.000-08:00

Here is my first video project for Interpreting 2. I know most of you will not be able to understand

my signs or what I am talking about, but just enjoy my movie.

Just warning you, you might want to turn down the volume....the background noise is really loud....

2010-02-15T23:38:00.000-08:00

Thank God for stock photos for the days that I just can't think of a witty remarks and interesting topics, I pull out something quick that interests me. So, here is a really freaking cool bike!!! Enjoy!!!

Valentine's Day- Gosh I Have Nothing to Wear

2010-02-13T23:55:00.000-08:00

Well, it's a night on the town for all you happy couples out there and even for you not-so-happy couples. We singles sit at home and watch movies with large volumes of food or we go out with other singles to remember to try to forget our unhappiness at being single on this particular day. On Valentine's Day, no matter how many times I say that I am not stressing about being single or that I am having fun hanging out and making friends, no matter how many times I say that, I don't mean it. On Valentine's Day, I want someone to come to my door and ring the door bell, walk me to his car, and open the door for me. I want him to have a plan, it doesn't have to be elaborate and the more simple and fun it is the better, but on this one day I want the guy to have a plan, make it original in his own way, and make me feel special. I don't need gifts, but I do want him to be a gentleman. I don't want a huge party or the best date of my life, a date can be special whether we go to a fancy restaurant and a walk on the beach or we go to the drive-in movie theatre and eat fried chicken. It doesn't matter what happens, I just wish something would happen. I wish someone would make the effort. ASK ME OUT!!! SOMEONE!!! I'll get all gussied up, more than I am everyday, and we would have a fun time. I am not completely horrible and I am actually pretty nice most of the time. So what do you say? I am waiting for the doorbell to ring....

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. ~Michael Leunig

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. ~John Bulwer

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~Robert Frost

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~Dr. Seuss

Love is not consolation. It is light. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Some say that true love is a mirage; seek it anyway, for all else is surely desert. ~Robert Brault

So dear I love him, that with him all deaths I could endure, without him live no life. ~John Milton

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. ~Javan

What I need to live has been given to me by [God]. Why I need to live has been given to me by you. ~Author Unknown

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. ~Nora Ephron

Amazing Grace how sweet his bod!

2010-02-13T02:29:00.000-08:00

Ioan Gruffud. He is in one of my favorite movies, Amazing Grace. So, let us admire God's creations, one of them being Ioan. Let's give an awed silence for the Good-Looking Man of the Week!!!

UPDATE: Amazing Grace: My new exclamatory remark.

How many people view me:

2010-02-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

I thought this was interesting. Ever since I put a sitemeter on my blog 3 months ago, I have been interested as to how many views my blog gets per day. I like to say that this is a blog that only a mother could love, because I didn't think anybody else was reading it, but I get an average of 20 views per day and the number keeps increasing. Also, in three months I have had 1,033 total views and just this week so far I have had 137 views!! This doesn't include people who only view one of my pages, meaning one individual entry in my blog, due to search engines. Those numbers are significantly higher! Wow. So to all you out there viewing me: HI! Also, don't be afraid to leave a comment, tell me what you think, tell me something interesting, or make a request.

Anyways, that's all for today. I know lately this has been maybe not the most interesting blog you read, but I have been in funk this week because I miss my family. I am going home this weekend, but just getting to the weekend is grueling!! So, I promise next week. and from now on. will be much more interesting. Hopefully. I mean, at least I think so....

Update!!!! Charlie Valentine!!!

2010-02-11T00:55:00.000-08:00

So, a few days ago it was that Charlie Valentine the Movie had contacted me. Now, they have put my blog on their facebook!!! I am semi-famous!!! Take a look!!:

Valentine's Day

2010-02-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

Once again I do not have a date. Well, not a guy date. I do have a date with my lovely friends for breakfast. I also have a date with my family at night. Yes, my family whom I love very much. So, what would be a great date if I was going on one?

Well, first we would go to this movie:

Then we would go to this restaurant:

And we would get this deal:

Then, we would go for a walk and he would hold my hand and it would be romantic and sweet. But, since I do not have that as an option this year, I will enjoy my day with my family whom I haven't seen in a while. Yay!!

Sweetness

2010-02-10T00:25:00.000-08:00

These two photos are fabulous. They caught my eye and enthralled me! They are children watching a puppet show of the story of St. George. Watch their tiny faces and the two in the front are holding hands. How sweet.

Here is where St. George kills the dragon:

Fabulous!

Now the movies are interested in me....

2010-02-09T00:18:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, I wrote a post about Michael Weatherly, nominating him as the good looking man of the week. Well, today I opened my blog account to find that a movie had contacted me and that its comments needed to be moderated. Yes, that's right a movie. Here is what the movie had said to me:

Charlie Valentine the Movie says: Michael Weatherly is starring in the 2010 feature film "Charlie Valentine". Please ad us on facebook, follow us on twitter, or check out www.Charlie ValentinetheMovie.com.

So, the fact that a movie contacted me and that Hollywood possibly, for the briefest amount of time, saw my blog made me happy and I did a tiny dance. I mean, I know that all this means is that they used google to do a search of "Michael Weatherly" and eventually they found my blog for a few short moments, but it is still kinda cool and it star struck me for a while.

So, here is the trailer of the movie that contacted me. It seems pretty interesting. Also, go to

www.charlievalentinethemovie.com

My Favorite Musicians

2010-02-08T00:00:00.001-08:00

My Favorite Musicians: Can anyone guess all of the pictures without me telling them? Let's see...

Do you get the feeling they are all staring at you? That's because they sing to your soul.

On Superbowl Sunday.

2010-02-07T16:12:00.000-08:00

Let us give a big hand to a guy that thinks beyond his career. Thinking with more than just his statistics, Tim Tebow began raising heads and raising controversy with the way he displays his faith at every game. As seen below in the photo, he uses the paint that many players use during the game to display the Bible verse, John 3:16. Well, he is raising controversy once again because of his choice to appear with his mother in a commercial that is for Focus on the Family and against abortion. I say way to go Tim!! Keep it up!! He shows us that no matter what profession you are in, there are risks to stepping out and sharing your faith and that those risks shouldn't matter when the kingdom of God is at stake.

Here is the commercial itself. I must say, it was very tastefully and respectfully done.

Michael Weatherly

2010-02-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

As the smooth talking NCIS agent, he caught the audiences' attention with not only his acting abilities, but also with his looks. Let's give it up for the Good-Looking Man of the Week!!

Let's Get Physical

2010-02-05T01:03:00.000-08:00

The gym. People cringe, they shudder, when they think of the gym. It brings to mind the thought of sweat, pain, and soreness later on. I have joined a gym. There is a gym here on campus and I paid the fee to become a member. Now, I have only gone two days, but I am really loving it!!!

I did some of this:

I even did some of this!:

Now, I have been asking myself what my goal is. What do I want to look like in the end?? I think, in the end, I want to know that if I wanted to wear a bikini, I could. For instance, I want to look like this:

or this:

Definitely NOT this:

or this:

And these are just scary:

The Orange!!! The ORANGE!!!!!

Also, when searching for the last two photos, I had to sift through some truly scary women (men?) and their very strange and horrifying bodies. Let me tell you, boobs, arms, legs, and even necks are not supposed to look like that, nor are they supposed to scare me to the point where I don't want to go to sleep at night.

So what do I want in the end? I want a less than perfect body. I want a body like Brittany after two kids and after crazy. She's at a healthy and quite realistic weight now and I think I want her body. Not Megan Fox, not Nicole Kidman, something I can aspire to while still being able to enjoy life and food!

Guess Who!

2010-02-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

GUESS WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT:

THAT'S RIGHT!!! A HOBBIT HOUSE!!! WOW!!

Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein!

2010-02-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

I am a lover of art. Lichtenstein is an odd artist, but I am intrigued by his art. He paints primarily art that imitates comic books which I don't really understand. But here is something that I can relate to: This woman was painted with makeup to be a real life incarnation of a Liechtenstein painting. When I was in class, I was required to paint myself like a painting as well, and believe me it isn't easy. To go from a one-dimensional canvas painting to a 3-D real life model is hard. So, this is amazing.

Think outside the church. Do away with conventional thinking!

2010-02-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

When you think of a wedding, you think of a stuffy church, with stuffy people, wearing stuffy clothes. They eat pretentious food while pretending to have fun and hating all the stuffy, ridiculous traditions. So, in the end, while we love the people, we hate the wedding. Well, the bold brides do it their own way! They forego the awfully stuffy traditions and think of new, unconventional ideas! So, why not have your wedding in an interesting place that speaks to you?

Here is the idea: Have your wedding in a museum. There are children's museums filled with interesting things to keep your guest entertained in a real way, even the children. Guests will be more inclined to participate in dancing and other elements of your wedding as well. The photo opportunities are everywhere!! Here are some elements from interesting children's museums all over:

Or think about having it at an aquarium! Their entranceways are usually pretty elegant, their insides are majestic, but whimsical too! You will wow your guests and your younger guests will be amazed with the fishy wonders! So think about this option as well:

Me and my nerdy self....

2010-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

What is this?

This timber home design in Skjaermveien Barnehage, Trondheim is a social hotspot, designed by Norwegian architecture firm, Oslo-based Haugen/Zohar Arkitekter. Made for gathering, storytelling and laughing before an open hearth, this fireplace house is inspired by traditional Norwegi an turf huts and old log construction. The compact 5.2-by-4.5-meter home design features 80 layers of loosely piled pine blocks – a configuration that allows for ventilation of the space. The wood walls taper toward the top to form the chimney. Inside, the main feature of this fireplace home is the open hearth, and the only opening apart from the chimney, is the entrance, complete with a double curved sliding door.

This is such a cool thing and brings us back to the tradition of gathering with friends and family or your tribe to take part in fellowship and tell stories. It is a fabulous thing. I want to build one!! Who's with me?

Here is where I found this awesome hut and got the explanation.

Can we save the date? Of course we can, you're charming.

2010-01-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

A new trend has become apparent in the world of weddings. This trend is Save-the-Date Videos!! This charming new trend is as creative and original as the two people who make them. Ranging from movie trailers to backward videos, they are a joy to watch even if you don't know the people in them. So enjoy the three video choices that I am posting, they are endearing:

Remember, You should put as much of yourself into a wedding as you do anything else. The people that come to your wedding are not going to just any wedding, they are coming to YOUR wedding. So many times Brides and Grooms try to make it about pleasing the people who are coming to the wedding instead of pleasing themselves. The people who love you the most will be pleased to see your take and your personality in your big day. So, think about each aspect of the wedding not as entertainment, but as a celebration of the two of you, making a commitment to one another, in front of God and your most precious friends and family. Once you start focusing on how you both want the day to progress and what details you want and ignore tradition and what your Aunt Bertha wants, the wedding becomes more personal and more enjoyable for everyone involved. And those few people that still don't like that you didn't throw the bouquet and that you had way too many bridesmaids, they will fade into the background as so many other people tell you how much fun they had and that they will always remember that day with fondness. I have been to many weddings. The ones I remember I can count on one hand, but I remember them, because they were personal. Not because they had all the traditions.

Andy: The Chronic-What!-cles of Narnia!!

2010-01-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

One of the stars of SNL, he is hilarious (though sometimes inappropriate) and I love him. I have also included one of my favorite videos with him in it. Hilarious! Welcome the good-looking man of the week!!

Wow!!

2010-01-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

Happy 100th Post!!!!!

Yes, you heard me folks, today is my 100th post! So far, it has been a journey of accepting myself for who I am and becoming the person that I am supposed to be. Now, I feel like my life is right on track. Now, my blog shall be about inspiration and living life to the fullest. Seizing the day. I think too many times I have played it safe. No more. From now on I will do scary things. I will put myself out there, unsure of what will happen or how people will react, but it will be me. Too many times I hold back and am quiet because I think people don't want to have to deal with me or my personality. They are too much involved in their own lives and why should I ask them to pay attention to little old me. I am nothing special. But that doesn't mean I can't be myself. I can. So thank you for coming along with me on this journey so far, and lets hope that there are many more blogs in the future. Well, there will at least be 973, but hopefully we continue for many years after that. Thank you.

Other freaking awesome cakes. An opposite of cake wrecks.

2010-01-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

So after my LOVE of Duff and all the fabulous people at Ace of Cakes, my DISLIKE of all things Cake Boss, I thought I would put up some cakes that I can love without any biases. They were not made by Duff, they were not made by Jeff (marry me), and, thank God, they were not made by the Boss. So here they are:

R2-D2. So awesome, this fan girl wouldn't eat it for the world. I would buy it just to look at it.

Who thought about this? This is flipping awesome. No fondant!!

And this one is even better. This one incorporates the haystacks. No fondant!!

A dragon. My mother loves dragons. I think this is for a dungeons and dragons theme thing, but it is awesome either way.

So, I think I have satisfied my awesome cake fetish for a while, so you won't be bombarded with fondant and icing and filling for a while.

Poems From an Contemplative Night

2010-01-27T01:10:00.000-08:00

Why do I put myself through the torture of watching romantic comedies? 'Torture?', you may say, but yes for me it is torture. A 23 year old single girl who has only had one date in her life looks at romantic comedies in two ways. First, they are wonderful. They inspire, plant hope, and make us think of the best things in life, but there is another side to them. Because when I see them hold hands and kiss and the guy wraps his arms around the girl and they live happily ever after together, I wonder, Why don't I have that too? I have a hand to hold, I have lips to kiss, and I have a torso that a man could very easily wrap his arms around, so what is wrong with me? Then I think about all the things that are wrong with me. I am a prude, I don't dress sexy, I am quiet, I am boring, and I am awkward and geekish, but I think there is someone that is a happy medium between someone who knows all the lines to all the Star Trek movies ever made and the top male movie star of 2009 that could let the idea of spending the rest of his life with me ruminate in his noggin without throwing up. I was told one time that when I have a "crush" on a guy, I aim too high. Well, I guess that might be true, but I don't think I quite understand that comment. I mean, I like good looking guys with good personalities who are a little taller and little more out-going than I am. So where in that description is the guy too good for me? Am I not good-looking enough to expect a good-looking guy to like me? Am I too quiet to expect an out-going guy to like me? Do I not have a good enough personality? What is it about me? I have looked at my crushes over the years: Jon, Alex, Daniel, Tyler, Andrew. Which one of these was out of my league? Why were they out of my league? I mean besides the fact that they only liked me as a friend, what was so wrong about liking them? So, anyways, now that I have that off my chest, I watched some romantic movies tonight, which prompted three poems. Here they are:

My Dearest One-

By:Sarah Hogeland

I still feel the ghost of your touch upon my skin

You who never met me, you who never loved me

Your love lingers, though you were never there

I feel you in the morning when I get my cup of coffee

I feel you late at night when I climb into my bed

I want you so badly to pull me close and kiss me

To tell me that everything will turn out fine

But you don't pull me close and that is why I hate you

You don't kiss me softly and that is why I cry

Come to me darling, I am calling from a distance

Come to me only and never say goodbye

Lover's Things

By: Sarah Hogeland

The stars taunt me

They call down to me with mockery, not songs

The moon is with them

He laughs at my tears and jeers all night long

The wind flows around me

Bringing a chill, no warmth to soothe my heart

And love is no where

It teases me and haunts me, and tears my soul apart

Don't

By Sarah Hogeland

Don't come to me with idle boasts of money

Don't promise me amazing tracks of land

Don't tell me lies and try to sell them to me

Don't promise me a world you're not prepared to give

All I want are your strong arms around me

All I need is your kiss upon my lips

All I crave is your love to lift and guide me

All I demand is you for all eternity

Again, I own these, so do not copy them without my permission or I will sue you. Thanks.